I have no clue what to tell you. I’m sorry to bother you with this text. There is no apparition in the present situation. I’m not sure what to say about this word. It’s a word I didn’t know about. I can’t even pronounce it. I hope I don’t need to speak it. The word is one of those English words you don’t remember when it’s not your first language. You use some other, an easier word, to say. Searching on Google about what the word means helps like it does when looking for words and their meanings. It’s pretty challenging to put this word into a sentence. I’m more into being invisible than being an apparition. Maybe I’m embarrassing myself with using it wrong. Or perhaps it’s right. That’s all I got.
I shall now disappear, like a phantom into the night.
Music has always been part of my life since I was a child. I’m one of those kids who lived they’re childhood in the 80’s. The fashion wasn’t the best but the music was awesome and still is. When I hear what they’re playing on the radio these days, I’m glad I’m not a teen. I’m not even interesting in new bands anymore. I use to follow the music scene but then other interest came a long. A lot of bands and artists who existed in the 80’s and 90’s are still around. Like Duran Duran who released Paper Gods last year and they’re also still touring. I wish they could get their butts over here as well. They’re one of the rarest bands that still make great music.
Without music life would be dull. My taste is wide. I listen to almost all kinds of music. Real music and…
I don’t mean the misty mountain in ‘The Hobbit’. It’s the misty mountain of life. I feel like I’m walking in a mist, and I don’t know where I’m going. I thought it was getting clearer, but it’s just getting mistier. I don’t get anything done. By the time I wake up, the whole day is gone. When people end their day, I’m only waking up. The entire day is wasted. That mountain of life is getting harder to climb. What I thought interested me wasn’t what I wanted after all. Maybe I do, but someone or something is holding me down. At least I don’t sit at home all day and only go out to the store. Some people are that lazy. I want to do something and not stay in the same place. That’s what I dreaded the most when I was a teenager, to get stuck in one place. I wanted to move abroad after I left school. I was restless and wanted to getaway. But that feeling went away when I got older. I was in a mist most of my youth, and now it feels like I’m in a similar situation.
Looking back at what educations I have, they are pretty useless. It’s a scam, the way people say how important education is. It doesn’t mean you get a job. At least I’ve done something. Other people might not appreciate my efforts, but I feel proud of them. I learned something, and maybe I’ve forgotten them already. But I’ve learned. I haven’t had the opportunity to use my education anywhere. It’s a bit depressive looking at job ads because nothing suits me. They say there are a lot of jobs, but that doesn’t help when there is nothing for me. I had high hopes about what to do next. But the years go by so fast, so it feels like I can’t keep up. It was three years ago when I took an entrepreneur course. Two years since the graphic design course. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Other people are much better than me and more experienced. It’s useless to compete with them. If I apply for a job in graphic design, guess who gets the job. Not me, that’s for sure. The employers just look at my resume and already decide I’m not the one.
Life is a misty mountain to climb. Some people might have the strength to get through it, but I don’t have the patience. Like Rene says in ‘Allo ‘Allo “, This is no life for a coward. Especially one with a good business.” Except I don’t have a business. At the moment, I just want to live one day at a time. The mist might go away one day. I only hope it won’t stay there forever.