Day 11. I’m not boldly at all. A lot of things scare me. I’m always being careful. Once, I fractured my left hand when I slipped on ice; after that, I promised myself I never wanted to get hurt that way. All of my hobbies have been safe. I’ve slalom skied, but even then, I wasn’t boldly. It’s better to be safe than sorry. You live longer too. Not that I want to live until I’m 100. People think you need to be bold to feel you’re alive. Everyone doesn’t want to live in danger. I don’t believe in this; live each day like it was your last. There are many things I haven’t done, but I don’t feel I’ve missed anything. How can you miss something you never had? I don’t regret things. What is done is done. There have been experiences I wish I didn’t have, but I have learned from them. For me, living boldly means doing it in my head. Everythings in there goes the way I want.

In certain things, I wish I was bold. I’ve thought since 2018 about becoming an entrepreneur in design. I even went to a course about it. I still haven’t started. It’s fear of losing free time and money problems. What if things don’t go anywhere, and then I have no security. Some say it takes years to become successful. I’ve had doubts about my ability to have a business. I skipped the idea and thought about looking for a job instead. But nothing has come up, so I’m starting to think about the entrepreneur thing again. The thought about working at home and not having to go anywhere sounds good in my head. The reality is different. There is a lot you need to do to get your business out there. You need to stand out. I don’t have anything new to show. I don’t think I’m that good. There are many more experienced people out there. I don’t know what kind of services I would have. You need to be bold and know how to promote the things you create.

My boldness comes from small things. Driving a car or a bike in traffic. Daring to learn new things. Going to concerts which I didn’t do when I was younger. You don’t need to be a daredevil to feel alive. Being boldly in small doses is just as good.