I wish I had said something

I take you back to 5th grade. The year is beside the point. I was in this class the 2nd year. I had to take 4th grade twice so I had to leave my old class. The 1st year in this new class went OK. It was the 5th that turn into hell. There was this girl who seem to have issues with me. I wasn’t bullied the way some people are. But she somehow turned the other girls against me. It was whispering behind my back and leaving me outside the group. That is one kind of bullying I guess. I could feel they didn’t want me to be around them. I was all alone. School didn’t taste good so I was rather not there. I played hooky quite a lot because of that.

Group work was the worst. I really disliked that in the future. P.E. wasn’t fun either. I don’t know why the teacher let the pupils choose which ones should be in their team. I was good at sport and yet no one wanted me in theirs. This girl was awful at it. In general she was kind of stuck up. She was one of those that never got any spots. Miss Perfect herself (that’s what I think now) She wasn’t perfect at all. She wasn’t good in Math either.
Years later, I saw her in another school. I don’t know if she recognised me or not. It doesn’t matter. She didn’t seem to be that childish anymore anyway. I didn’t go to that school that long (for a different reason). I only saw her there once. I didn’t want anything to do with her. People like her are a waste of my time. I found out years later that she had cut a school at some point and worked somewhere. She didn’t become anything special which is a bit like, ha ha, in your face.

I wish I had said something to her in 5th grade. I would have told her where to get off. The worse thing was that she couldn’t say it to my face. Instead she said something to her friend and that friend told me (that friend used to my friend. Bloody backstabber :P) She didn’t want to sit by the same table in the diner because I had spots on my face. The friend suggested I should use some cream to make them disappear. Another thing was that I had some line on my nose that she didn’t like. It was just silly reasons. I didn’t say anything but if it was happening today, I would have said something to her. I think it was more than just some imperfect feature. I’ve thought about the time and came to the conclusion, she was just jealous. Maybe because I was good at sport or good at something else. Like I wrote, it doesn’t matter. I got rid of her and I don’t care anymore.

One thing I’ve learned through that experience. I will never let anyone treat me like that again. I’m a much stronger person now that I was then. It hasn’t put me down. Maybe that experience has had some effect on me. I’m careful with whom I confide in. I’m a private person and I don’t trust people. That’s the reason I don’t blog about personal things that often. If life would only be like blogging. Edit when you haven’t said something you wish you had.


3 thoughts on “I wish I had said something

I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.