There comes a time when you feel like you’re too lazy to do anything. You feel like no one really cares what you do. You try to find the motivation but you can’t find a solution. You might even get depressed for a while. You try to concentrate on other things. But even those things are not good enough. You don’t know what you’re doing wrong since no one seems to pay attention. Deep inside you know someone does care but still it feels like there’s no point.
That’s how I feel about this blog. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. I used to have a lot of subjects to write about but now they just sound boring. Not even I would want to read it. I’ve thought maybe I should write about personal things. But then it would be like any other blog and I don’t want to be like everybody else. Who would want to read about my boring life anyway. There’s nothing in it worth writing about. I’m an introvert and I rather not talk about private things. I’m also a Finn and we don’t make a lot of noise about ourselves.
I don’t know if people actually read my blog. The traffic seems to have calmed down. Maybe it’s because it’s summer and people are outside. But also because I haven’t written much lately either. That’s where I come to the motivation part. I don’t know where I want this blog to go. I feel like I’m alone with my thoughts. Maybe people just doesn’t like the same things I do. The same with my other blog But that’s probably because it’s kind of new and maybe people just don’t read fan fiction. It would be nice though to get some reaction from people from time to time.
The same with this blog. Compared to other blogs I mostly get likes but that’s alright. At least that’s something. When I started this blog 3 years ago I didn’t even think I would get over 200 followers. For me that’s a lot. It’s about quality, not quantity. I don’t need a lot of followers to feel special. That’s for people in their teens who still have low self-esteem and wants attention.
I still want this blog to be about things I like. But I also wish it would be more interesting to others. Now it’s just me writing and wishing if only someone would just give something back a.k.a comments or likes. I have few ideas but they always turn to bad one’s. I shouldn’t really stress about what others think. It’s my blog after all and I should still keep it up. But I need to change it for my own good. If I find my own blog boring, how would I think everybody else would feel.