If things would be so much easier, I could actually get something done. But the fact is worse than fiction. It doesn’t matter what you do. Things are always made complicated. Then again if it was easy everybody could do it.

I’m on a course about entrepreneurship. It mostly happens online. There already been two meetings with the group of 25. There will be 3 more. It’s always nice to meet new people but most of the time it’s not my cup of tea. Everyone else seems to be bonding so easily. It feels like my introductions put people off. I absolutely hate speaking in front of strangers. I always forget to say things I’ve thought about it. After my introduction, no one asks me anything. Maybe it’s just a Finnish thing. Maybe people just don’t think I’m interested enough. I don’t look for friendship but I wish there would be some connection where I feel comfortable. I’m like a fish out of the water. I’m not sure if I really belong to this course. Especially when networking is so important if you want to have your own business.

Speaking of that. In entrepreneurship there’s so much you have to do. About taxes and all that. If you’re unemployed and start your own, you’re in the hands of the job centre. They’re the ones who decide if you’re a part-time or full-time entrepreneur. It would be much easier if you weren’t signed to their books. But if you’re not, you won’t get unemployment benefits. You don’t get success overnights so you have to live on welfare for a while. If things were fiction, you could just start your business and clients will roll in. But the fact is, it’s not that simple. You have to work on it so maybe working for someone else would be better. But what can you do when you can’t find anything. It’s either entrepreneurship or falling down the society crack.

You probably don’t understand what I write but I just write what I think. It doesn’t have to make sense. If it does, then it’s alright. Sometimes I doubt my writing is confusing and the subject change too quickly in one post. But that’s how my mind works. Blogging won’t save my life but that’s not the point. It’s a hobby and that fact will always be better than fiction.