
My late father used to say, “No can do.” Of course, he said it in Finnish, but it was something like that. The past is the past, and you can’t go back and do things differently. You should look forward and learn from your failures. Some things aren’t meant to be, and that’s just life.
I could have done many things differently, but what I didn’t do then, I can do in 2026. Of course, I can’t be younger or have a perfectly stable life without any problems. Last year, it felt as if more bad things happened than good. Those were things I couldn’t have planned for. But it wasn’t all bad. I went to five different concerts: Toto, Bryan Adams, Kylie Minogue, The Rasmus, and Duran Duran. That’s where the bad luck happened; I hurt myself in the hotel room and had to go to the ER. I thought I would have to miss the entire Duran Duran concert, but luckily, the injury wasn’t too bad, and I saw at least half of it, even though I was in discomfort and felt like I couldn’t move. Music is a good healer. This year, there won’t be any concerts, and even if there were, I couldn’t afford them.
Last year, money seemed to go but not come in. So many bills to pay. My savings are going, and there is no income coming. I had to pay inheritance tax, repair my car, pay the monthly fee for two flats, and if that wasn’t enough, my car wouldn’t start. It’s been cold weather, and I hadn’t used the car for about a week. I can’t afford to pay for a towing service to help me. Perhaps the car battery is empty or something else. I can’t do anything about it because of the lack of funding. Luckily, I don’t need to drive anywhere important. And I don’t need to pay for gas, either. I have a battery charger, but I don’t know if that will work. And I don’t know how it works either.
I also drove into a pole under the carport outside my building because the idiot beside my car can’t park theirs far enough from my spot. They think I have a car that fits into narrow places. So I drove into the pole, broke the cover of the turn signal, and scratched the car. Then I had to take the yearly car inspection twice because there were other problems in the car that I had to fix.
If I sold my flat, I could get money, but I can’t afford a cleaner or moving help. Since my car doesn’t start, I can’t move things to the other flat. The problems keep on coming. One problem is solved, and then comes another one. I have to save money for basic needs, and I don’t want any more surprises.
Is this what my life is about? Financial struggle, no friends (not that I need them), no job, and no one who cares. All the people I had are gone, and not even meeting anyone new. Even if I did, no one cares enough, or I have nothing in common with people. But I’m not lonely, alone yet, but I’m used to it. Luckily, I’m an introvert, and I don’t need a lot of people around anyway. Try to tally everything together so I don’t end up broke. I already had to stop paying for Grammarly Premium, and who knows what I have to give up next.
I hope 2026 will have less drama than last year. And no surprises. At least not bad ones.
