A fresh start

2014, here I come. I’m such a lazy writer. But I have a good reason. My motivation has been low. It has nothing to do with not having a job. It has never been something I stress about. And has nothing to do with my mother passing away on December 15, 2013. She had cancer. She had been sick about a year. There was nothing the doctor could do. That’s just life. Some have the luck of surviving but she wasn’t one of them. Unfortunately. After having a cry 3-4 days in a row, I have started to feel better. It’s never nice when someone close to you dies. You just have to continue. There are times when those memories comes back to your mind. Maybe you cry and wish that person was still around. You never get over it, you just move on.

Anyway. I have always had motivation problems. Maybe because I like so many things. I need someone who lifts up my spirit. Encouragement is the word. I get bored easily. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Lot of people in my age (30+) already have careers but I have nothing. I don’t compare myself with others though. They also have families but that’s not what I want from life. Maybe I’m like Peter Pan, never want to grow up. I just have to be more brave. I’m not very sociable. Never had lot of friends but I don’t need much either. It might sound really sad that I have no one (except my dad) but that’s something I’m not depressed about. What’s more depressing, is that I can do lots of different things and studied but still can’t find a job. That’s my goal for the year. I want to earn my own money so that I can pay the mortgage (the flat I live in, was owned by my mother) and that I can buy a new flat somewhere else. I’ve told too much already 😉

Until next time. Might be tomorrow since I’m taking part of this Zero to Hero: 30 Days to a Better Blog