Another infatuation

Two friends are having a conversation in a small café in Paris. They are sitting around a small round table, close to the window. They have ordered coffee and a bagel each. They have been sightseeing the city all day so they’ve decided to take a break. The café only have a few customers so it’s peaceful there.

“So Louise, what do you think about Paris then?”
“Good” She says and drinks some coffee from her cup
“You’re still upset, are you?”
“You think” Louise says, looking at her friend
“I just gave you my opinion. Was it that bad? You did ask what I thought”
“It’s not what you said. You just want to mock me”
“All I said was, what’s the point? It’s not like it ever gonna happened”
“So what?”
“And maybe he’s gay”
“Paul, you’re just jealous. You say that about every good looking guy. And he just happens to be very talented as well”
“No I’m not. All I’m saying is, you’ve been watching that scene too many times. You don’t like him that way” He says and drinks his coffee cup empty
“Whatever ‘that way’ means. This is just another infatuation. There’s nothing you should worry about. You will always be my number one” She says, touching his hand and finishes her coffee
“I’m not worried the slightest. Like who you want. Let’s go”

Both of them stand up and Paul leaves a tip on the table. They get to the front door and she opens it.
“The fact is, Lee Pace will always have something you don’t” Louise says and with that they get out to the street. Paul walks a little further behind her. He could never figure her out. Even if she was his twin sister.

4 thoughts on “Another infatuation

  1. I liked it. Very real topic between siblings.
    The only thing for me would be a couple of dialogue tags in the early part just to keep the reader on track. Not after every person speaking but maybe every fourth or something like that.
    One other thing would be calling the brother her friend in the beginning is somewhat of an unintentional mislead to the reader. It could simply be changed to “looking at the young man”

    I enjoyed it, and the things I pointed out don’t take away from what you wrote, I just point it out because of the Writing 101 aspect and keeping a good flow going.
    Much Respect
    Ronovan

    Like

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