What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient

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Experiencing a death in the family at a very young age has made me more resilient to the downside of life. Also, other bad experiences in my life have given me more resilience. I’ve always had my own mind and done things my way and in my own time. Sometimes maybe I’ve been too stubborn in certain things. I’ve also given up things too easily. I guess when you get older you get more resilient because life teaches you and it makes you look at things differently. If you don’t grow you get stuck in the past.

People who haven’t experienced bad things before probably take them harder than those who have. If you haven’t then you don’t know how it feels. Even if you have you can only imagine how it feels. People take negativity differently. Life isn’t easy so you shouldn’t take it for granted. When I was younger I felt lucky that I had both of my parents around. Classmates parents died or divorced. I could sympathise with them but I was glad I didn’t have to go through it myself. I could never have imagined at the time that I had to go through the same sorrow years later. Death is part of life and when you experience it in the family you get more resilient. You move on because your life doesn’t stop. The person who died wants you to move on. You never get over their death because they will always be a part of you. You can think about them from time to time and maybe imagine how life would be if they were still around. And maybe cry when you feel down. When you start to think about your life, you don’t think about sorrow. If you can’t get over bad experiences, you can’t move on and then you’re life has been wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you resilient.

For some unemployment is like death and they feel ashamed. Being rejected a lot can break one’s spirit. But for me, it has just got me more resilient. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. You know yourself better than anybody. If other people think there must be something wrong with you if you can’t find a job, it’s really their problem and not yours. I think the reason people feel ashamed about being unemployed is that they think too much about what others think. If you stop caring about that you feel much better about it. Maybe I’m just stronger mentally so I don’t stress about that. It’s easier said than done but I can only speak for myself. There are times when I still struggle but I get over it after a while. You shouldn’t dwell on things that aren’t your fault. Life is full of disappointment but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Too many rely on someone else’s opinions or views. You should live your life for yourself and those close to you. There will always be people who think they know the answer to everything. I would just say, talk to the hand because I’m not listening.

Resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It happens in time. Some might be born with it but experiences can mould you to it. That’s what happened to me. If I hadn’t gone through the bad times, I could be a different person now. I think things happen for a reason. I could have drowned in my own sorrows and feel sorry for myself but I didn’t. You fall but get up again. The setbacks have only made me more resilient and that’s what you need to keep sane in this world. It will never be perfect so why fight against it. You should take life as it comes because one day it’s your turn to leave.

I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?

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