Curious me

Photo: Pexels

Learning new things is part of life. You need to be curious, or it will get you bored. You need to be motivated to learn, or it will all be useless. Sometimes learning is so hard you want to give up. I have now had 4 driving lessons, but it seems I’m still not ready for the driving test. In the 2nd lesson, I remembered why I didn’t finish it the first time. There is so much to think about. I actually dread the lessons a bit because I’m afraid to make a mistake. I thought I’m a fast learner, but not when it comes to driving a car. The biggest problem is changing gears. All my energy goes to that. Then there is the pressure from other drivers on the road. It feels like I never learn. At least I’m a bit better. I need to learn the gears better so I can think about other things. One lesson left, but I think the teacher will suggest some more. It was 26 years ago, the last time I drove a car, it takes time to learn again.

Being curious about learning new things hasn’t made my life any better. I’m still unemployed, and I’m turning 44 in June. Apparently, 40-year-olds don’t learn new things anymore. That’s not the reason I haven’t got hired, though. It’s the lack of experience. Maybe I’m not good enough. It’s silly to switch careers when you haven’t even been in the current one. Why would I want to switch when I have finally decided what I want to do? I don’t know what I could do. No matter what I study, I still won’t get a job. Whenever I search for a job, it always requires experience. I have no chance to get any because someone will always have more. I like to learn, so I still do no matter what. It’s the curious me that want to continue. I do it for myself and my own mental health. It’s good for the mind to study things. No one is perfect in anything. Unless you’re a superhuman which I think no one is. Learning new things is not enough. Also, knowing how to do things better. Learning a new computer program and then get better at it, that’s what pays for your efforts.

I used to dislike Adobe Illustrator, but after studied web design, I learned to like it. Our teacher was very good at teaching it, so that must be it. Now I use it daily. I’m still learning it on Behance. You always learn something new every time. Practice makes you better, and you get used to things. But only if you’re motivated. If you’re not curious enough, nothing will make you want to continue. You can’t force yourself to do things that don’t interest you. There are things I want to learn, but I don’t have enough patience to do it. I don’t like difficult things. There isn’t enough time to learn a lot of things. The brain doesn’t have enough memory capacity to handle so much information. Only concentrating on learning what interests you and focus on becoming better at it is more important. I want to learn a lot of different things, because I get bored otherwise. That’s what the curious me want to do.

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I know you're there. Why do you linger in the shadows?

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