Expectations, you fulfil them or you don’t. If you expect too much, you get more disappointed. It’s better if you don’t expect at all. That’s what I’ve learned. I just take things as they come.
You take things for granted. When you’re a teenager, you have conflicts with your parents. You might even hate them for a while. Some might even stay that way. You think they don’t care about you so you rebel against them. You rather stay out late at night with your friends than stay at home. You expect your parents to just let you be. Maybe there are parents that really doesn’t care. But most parents do. They just need a reminder from time to time. Kids expect their parents to see they have problems or worries. But parents won’t know if you don’t tell them. One day, they won’t be around anymore.
I should know. I was never a rebel. Of course I had conflicts with my parents and who hasn’t. But I was a “good girl” if you can call it that. I just didn’t see the point going out and get drunk. I still don’t. That what makes me different. I liked being at home. I liked the company of my parents. I was especially close to my mother. She was the one, who helped me with homework and about school things in general. She used to read to me too when I was a child. I guess I was closest to her. In some things my father understood me better though. My mother used to tell me “I won’t be here forever” I knew that deep inside. That’s life. But that forever came too soon.
Everything changed in Autumn 2012 when she became sick. She had peritoneal cancer. She went through an operation and cytostatic treatment. There were some hope that it would have helped. She always felt better afterwards. To make the story short. In the end of 2013 the doctor told her, they couldn’t help her anymore. They had done everything they could. It was kind of shock when mother told me. I had hoped and prayed that she would survive from this decease or at least stay for a little longer. She didn’t live long after that. She died on December 15, 2013. In the end it was kind of relief she didn’t have to suffer for so long.
When things like that happens in your life. You ask yourself, why did it happen to you and your family. Things like this happens to other people. Your mother or father are supposed to get old together. That’s something everyone thinks if they lost someone close to them. But you should never take things for granted. You should savor the time you have together. One day, they won’t be there.
(this was the most difficult to write but I made it through the tears)
In my world 